And you cannot go on indefinitely being just ordinary…

„And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.“  -C.S. Lewis

One thing I’m pretty sure of: „to change“ means „to leave the comfort zone“.  (I’ll confess: I too, am a creature of comfort.)  Yet, my experience has proven that by taking it just one step at a time, change really does kinda seem to happen – and it turns out that it isn’t as tough / bad / hard / impossible as it seemed for me to be at first.

Yes, there are different levels of change. Big, scary, hairy changes and little, teensy, tiny ones. And yes, there is a difference between being brave about tackling a do-able change and taking ridiculous risks.

Yet, I decided to stop worrying about change – about mistakes; what other people think; what could go wrong (or right); or those zillion other nagging thoughts about those things that haven’t even happened and yet still somehow persist to keep a person’s mind busy. And this is what I found out: when you turn off the chatter you are sure to find out that you, yourself hold the reins, are at the steering wheel, are the navigator and the captain. So, to stop worrying was the first step for me towards making change happen.

„Stop worrying?“, you ask, „There is so much to think about! So much to plan, to organize, to make happen. So much that could go wrong. A chance that things would be disastrous. How could I not worry!?!?“
This is what I have learned: the first step towards stopping the analysis-paralysis that keeps your mind busy with worry, but your change plans – your future! – on ice, is to accept: that I (and you) will probably fail at one point or another.

But then again, to do well, at least better than before, I have at least learned something. So I have learned to accept that something may go wrong. Something might not work out like how I planned for it to, or would like for it to be. But hey, guess what?! I’ve come to accept that, too! In the meantime I even think that a failure is good news! Because I am building my success on the failures where I have learned something. And I am moving: forwards, sideways, back and forth. I am constantly learning and growing and making new experiences – from which I further learn and grow. I intend to be the maker of my own destiny, to be at the controls of my life. I accept that things won’t always go the way I want them to, but I am not just letting life happen to me.

So let me encourage you: go get ready, (if you feel you have to, brace yourself), and go get started on that change. Sometimes it makes sense to start small even if your plan is to go big. So why not start right now – this very minute – and find a little thing you could do right now, that supports your desired change, and just do it – move on that little thing.

Once you’ve started on your change journey, then remember to relax and allow change to happen. You could even go so far as to step out of the situation and to take the role of spectator, and look upon the change as a story being told. Be sure to look at the entire story: Where did your protagonist start? What did she have to master? Who has crossed her path? How far has she come since she started? Look at the whole story and you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised at what you will see! And when you step back into the story, be especially proud of the lessons that you will have inevitably learned when you started those changes. One in particular is important: you will have become more adept at change.

Ask yourself  a few questions to find out how you can „hatch“ before you „go bad“!

When you are in a change situation, you are finding solutions, and you are most likely being very creative – you are letting the ingenious person you were always meant to be, shine. So mastering change makes you better at – well, I’d say, almost – everything that requires creativity!

So what is it exactly, that you want to change? And where are you in that change process? Have you given any thought to what you may be doing that is actually sabotaging your efforts to really make that change? While we’re at it: What exactly, are you doing right now to make that desired change? If you’re not in the middle of the process somewhere, then what do you think is holding you back from really moving forward on your desired change?

Could it be fear? Could it be you are holding on to something that isn’t working for you? If fear – then of what? Of failure? Or of success?
Of being ridiculed? Or of being worshiped? Of not reaching your ever-so-high ambitious goals? Or of falling off the pedestal? Of losing something or someone? Or of gaining something or someone? What are you holding onto that in reality, is holding you back?

Image courtesy of satit_srihin at

The secret to change

„The secret of change is to focus all your energy – not on fighting the old, but on building the new.“

This quote stems from the book,“Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman, originally published in 1980, and later made into a movie with Nick Nolte playing the role of „Socrates“, a modern, fictional character (not the ancient philosopher).  The character „Socrates“ was the nickname Millman gave to an all-night gas station attendant who had become his mentor and counselor, and who was a main catalyst on Millman’s spiritual journey.  Millman himself went on to become a successful coach, self-help author, and lecturer. (1)

Chip and Dan Health have a recipe on „how-to make change happen“ in their 2010 published book „Switch. How to change things when change is hard“ (Broadway Books, Crown Publishing Group, Random House Inc., New York).

The secret is: (drumroll please….)
For change (transformations) to be successful, you have to set behavioral goals, that’s how you transform your aspirations into actions into „the new“.

What does this mean for us normal folks? When it comes down to making change happen, ambiguity is the enemy. So be honest with yourself. State where you are now – the facts. Be gut honest with yourself, but put it in terms that are not judgemental – rather just state the facts.
Then state where you want to be – your vision for yourself.
Then figure out what being that kind of person will mean for your behaviors today. What kind of decisions will you be required to make? Go ahead – have a rule that suggests how you will make the correct choices in the future. Write those down if you have to, in order to make it absolutely clear what the path going forward will look like. Then you will have to be prepared to remove whatever barriers are on your path. Know that they will be there, but know that it is within your power to remove those barriers. It comes back to „be honest with yourself – gut honest“. Change begins at the individual decisions and behaviors level.
So move. immediately. in a new direction.


(1) Here is the excerpt from the book, „Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book that Changes Lives by Dan Millman, 1984. Publisher’s Group West, Emeryville, California“:

„Back in the office, Socrates drew some water from the spring water dispenser and put on the evening’s tea specialty, rose hips, as he continued. “You have many habits that weaken you. The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”


Hello world!

This is my first WordPress post. And this is a bit about me…

I’m an american-born and educated, recently naturalized German citizen, living in Bavaria.  Although my degree is in Marketing, my profession led me to work in public relations and communications – crafting reputations and finding and telling stories that would engage staff and customers alike.  After stepping out of the rat race (granted, I was asked to go – along with 4000 others in the organization I was in that chose to „restructure“ its business strategy), I began a soul search which, for me, ended in a new beginning. I started to pursue my dream profession as a personal and business coach. After intense studies (I’m a knowledge junkie) and plenty of hands-on workshops, seminars and trainings – along with regular interventions with the best coaches in the trade (Dr. Migge Seminare),  I am now investing my experience, knowledge, intuition and mojo to help others become their best, most wonderful self. Usually that involves a change or two. I can be reached via email: deborah(at)